Saturday, June 28, 2014

One year ago today...

One year ago today, I heard a still small voice whisper that this is the day we will find our daughter. That evening, my husband called me over to look at a beautiful child on an advocacy website and we both fell in love.

*Post edited - Because Z has refused adoption, I have removed her pictures to protect her privacy.

It has been a whirlwind year, filled with ups and downs. The first half of the adoption process went really quickly. We thought for sure we'd be traveling within a year of finding our girl. The second half of the adoption process has gone much more slowly. We've evidenced several miracles, including God providing over $11,000 through generous friends and family, which allowed us to complete our adoption fund and proceed with the necessary approvals.

I already think of Zhi Zhi as our daughter, even though she won't officially be ours until the court finalizes our adoption. I can't wait to become her mama, to show her the love of a family, and to introduce her to our loving God.

Yesterday our agency contacted us and asked if we wanted to delay the adoption. We found out that Zhi Zhi wavers between being afraid of the huge change coming her way and wanting to have a family. The judge in Taiwan will ask her social worker how Zhi Zhi feels about the adoption. We need her to want to be adopted. Since day one, we have been praying that God will soften her heart so that she will want to be adopted, that she will allow us to love her, and that someday she will love us in return.

We stepped out in faith yesterday, believing that God will finish preparing her heart, and instructed our agency to continue with the adoption process. Once we receive our preapproval letter from AIT, our case will be submitted to court. Please pray for Zhi Zhi, that she will be eager to be adopted by the time the judge asks. We have faith that God will continue to bless us as we seek to make Zhi Zhi our daughter.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

A surprise blessing

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude to God. Just as we're bracing for a long wait, as we work on the last step before submitting all of our paperwork to court, God gives us a blessing to sustain us. Earlier this week, I again contacted our agency to ask if it was possible for me to get touch with the family who hosted our girl in 2012. I was thrilled when they responded with an email address.

After prayer, we sent over a list of questions we hoped would be answered and give us insight into our daughter. We've been so very blessed with a ton of useful information and photos. I was praying for photos but knew that I may or may not receive any. The host family has more than doubled the number of photos we have!

*Post edited - Because Z has refused adoption, I have removed her pictures to protect her privacy.

She's beautiful and I pray every day that God will prepare her heart for our family.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Motivation techniques? Any advice?

I need some help!

You see, a few years ago, I was rather fat. I had let my weight creep up and up and up. I topped out at just under 190 pounds. Because I didn't pack all the weight on at once, I didn't realize quite how fat I was getting until one day I looked at some recent photographs. I was crushed.

That day, I made up my mind that I was going to lose weight. Weight struggles run in my family. Sure, my family tends to be rather skinny until 21 years of age or so. Once we reached that magic age, almost every single person in both my immediate and extended family gained a ton of weight. Myself included.

Over the next two or so years, I slimmed way down. At first, I just watched what I ate, meticulously counting every calorie. I lost quite a bit of weight that way but plateaued around 145 pounds. Then I started exercising, using the Wii's Walk it Out video game and running 3x a week. That helped me lose the remainder of my weight and I dropped down to 118 pounds. I was quite proud of myself but it was hard to maintain that weight. I didn't keep up with the exercise, nor did I continue tracking my calories. My weight slowly crept back up and I settled in at 124 pounds for a few months. I was happy there.

And then... I've had two pretty big bouts of drama in the last eight months. I'm an emotional eater. I also struggle when I lack control of my own life. I was out of town on two separate occasions, both of which involved very stressful events, and my weight has suffered. I'm now just ounces shy of 140 pounds and am very unhappy about it.

I'm sort of motivated to get back to 124 pounds. I WANT to get back to 124 pounds. But I cringe at the amount of work it took the last time I lost weight. I've been tossing around ideas with my husband, trying to find a way to get the motivation back. The last three weeks, I've run 2-3 times each week. It took a couple runs but I'm back at 1 mile per run. It's a starting point. I used to run 5k routes every weekend. I ran a couple of 5k races and enjoyed it. Running is not a favorite form of exercise but it's doable IF I force myself out the door. It's not exactly fun, but it's effective.

I want to get back to my ideal weight by the time we travel to Taiwan. I want to meet my daughter in a body that I feel comfortable with. I don't want her to look at me and cringe at the thought of going home with "the fat American lady." We travel in 6-9 months. Hopefully. It's hard to guess how long it will be because the process can speed up or slow down. But I think it would be fair to say that I can reach 124 pounds by the end of October. Right?

15 pounds in four months. Now I just have to make myself do it.

Tell me... how do you motivate yourself to eat healthy? To exercise? To lose weight?

Monday, June 23, 2014

Everything on back order

I thought for sure that I was going to have a really fun post today, an update on our decorating attempts. Alas, no update for awhile.

Yesterday we visited Bed, Bath, and Beyond so that I could show my hubby the curtains I found. We picked out the pretty lavender curtains and then found a nice curtain rod to install. Once home, we eagerly unwrapped everything. BB&B carried two lengths of curtains - 63" and 83". The window is not full length so we took an educated guess that we need the 63" curtains. We were careful to pick out two packages that were very clearly marked 63". When we opened the first package, we realized that the curtains were taller than I am! I am 5'6" and I couldn't even hold the curtains off the floor by stretching my arms above my head. They were clearly not 63" long! The curtains were pretty, but we were not in love with them. We decided to take them back and find something else.

This morning we started browsing Pottery Barn Kid's website, the same place we bought the comforters and sheets. We found some gorgeous curtains on sale! They weren't as cheap as the BB&B curtains, but I'm positive that they are nicer quality. And wouldn't you know it... the curtains are on back order, just like the sheets we ordered! Both the curtains and the sheets will be delivered at the end of July. So much for making progress with the decorating this weekend!

On Saturday night, I also made a list of furniture stores we can visit in search of a dresser as well as a kitchen table to replace our folding table. Hopefully next weekend we'll spend some time searching for furniture. I can't wait!

Friday, June 20, 2014

Empty mailbox

No letter from AIT this week. Our agency said that our dossier translation will be completed by the end of next week. I am praying that the AIT letter arrives before Friday! Then we'll be ready to submit to court. I can't wait.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

My "shredder"

This evening I had entirely way too much fun. Taking advantage of a cooler evening, I burned an entire stack of sensitive papers.

The beginning of my fire:


Toward the end:


We don't own a shredder, but we do have a fireplace! By the end of the summer, I will have saved up enough credit card offers and other identity sensitive papers for the fall/winter season of fire building. Now that I've burned everything, I can clean out the fireplace. No more s'mores for a few months!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Bedding and Mandarin progress!

We put the comforters on the beds and it makes Zhi Zhi's room so much more inviting!

We went from this:


To this:


I love the bedding and hope she does as well. I look forward to picking out curtains and a dresser soon.

Today I finished week 12 of my beginner class from YoYo Chinese. I am exactly half way through the beginner lessons. I feel like I am learning a lot but also feel pressured to pick up the pace a bit. I would really like to make it part way through the Intermediate lessons before we travel to pick up Zhi Zhi. I am becoming more comfortable with Mandarin but know that I have a very long way to go.